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Coping With Trauma

I have been thinking about this quite a bit recently, how different people cope with different things. I was talking to Liam about my depression in general and he mentioned that he was surprised that when he had his accident I dealt with it so well. It was the most traumatic event that had happened in my life up until that point and it didn’t affect me how I thought it would.

I always assumed that if something like that happened I would totally fall apart and not be able to cope.

I remember finding out about Liam’s accident and going into autopilot. I stayed that way for a good few days I think, before it really hit me what was happening. Even then, I knew I had to stay strong for Liam, as he was going to need a lot of support and care. Looking back, I think that taking care of him kept me going. I had a purpose and he needed me to keep my shit together.

When I got pregnant with Thomas I was terrified about post-natal depression. Having mental health problems doesn’t guarantee you will get it but it makes it more likely. Luckily I didn’t suffer with post-natal depression after either of my babies were born, although I went through a lot emotionally after Daniel’s birth. This was because after he was born I had a massive hemorrhage and ended up being rushed to hospital in an ambulance because I lost so much blood.

I sometimes have flashbacks to lying in hospital, going in and out of consciousness, worrying about what was going to happen to my babies if I died.

Experiences like these don’t define us, but they do affect us and how we cope with things going forwards. I personally feel that, although I have anxiety about seemingly minor things on a daily basis, when something big happens I slip into a kind of practical auto-pilot and just deal with it without getting too emotional.

It's almost as if I worry about things happening so much, that when they do I get a sort of calm, reassurance that now the worst has happened and then I can begin to deal with it.

Obviously people all deal with trauma differently and it can impact your whole life. Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects 1 in 3 people who have experienced a traumatic event, and it can continue to affect someone for years after the event.

My own experiences have helped shape me into the person I am today and for that I am grateful. When Liam was in hospital he gave me the chance to walk away from our relationship. Obviously I didn't, and I think that going through that whole experience together and coming out the other side has meant that we have a very strong marriage.

Some things are meant to be, and even the worst experiences have a lesson to be learnt.

Even the darkest of clouds will have a silver lining, even if you have to search for it!

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