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2007

Every year in a person's life is important, but some are more defining and memorable than others.
For me, one of these years was 2007.

I have taken a long time to get my head around the events of 2007, and writing about it has been somewhat thereapeutic for me. I know that it may prove to be a difficult read for some of my family and friends, however I feel that I should still share my story. It is painful to revisit some events in our pasts, but by doing so we accept them and how they have helped shape us into the people we become.

In early 2007, I was living away from home. I had left university early and was working two jobs, in a call centre and a nightclub. I had disposable income, loads of friends and a busy social life. I was going out most nights that I wasn’t working and spending my hard earned cash on partying.

Looking back I realise that although I had a great circle of friends, I never felt like I really fit in anywhere. My university friends were studying and I was no longer a student so didn’t really get what they were going through. My work friends were great but I hadn’t known them very long and I wasn’t local to the area.

I was living a lifestyle that I couldn’t sustain, and things came to a head when I ended up in hospital. I had taken an intentional overdose of pills and alcohol. I remember thinking that I just wanted to feel nothing. I didn’t feel particularly sad, but I was tired of not feeling happy. It was a classic cry for help.

When I got to hospital, having realised that this wasn’t going to solve anything, I felt totally alone. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems and I also felt embarrassed. I mean, what did I have to be depressed about!?

After my hospital trip I was referred for Cognitive Behavourial Therapy and although I only attended one session before I moved back home, it was like a whole new world was being opened up to me. I was feeling like this because I had an illness, which I could potentially do something about. This was the start of my journey to recovery.

A couple of months later I made the decision to move back to Bristol. I missed my family and the familiarity of home.

The nightclub I was working in transferred me to one in Bristol and I started working there straight away. I had only been there a couple of weeks when they had a staff night out. I wasn’t that keen on going but my mum said I ought to go along and get to know my new colleagues better. That was the night I met the man I would go on to marry and have my own family with. I have a lot to thank my mum for!


Liam was working as security in the club and so went along to this night out. His brother and dad were supposed to be going too but they didn’t bother so he had no one to talk to. We got chatting and the rest as they say, is history!

Liam knows when I am having a bad time, sometimes before I do, and he doesn’t put any pressure on me to “pull myself together”. He knows that we have to ride it through together and things will go back to normal soon. He understands, as much as anyone can who has not suffered with a mental illness themself, what I am going through. Most of all though, he understands me and still loves me in spite of my shortcomings.

The year 2007 was a turbulent one. I hit my lowest low and had to start coming to terms with an illness which would become a huge part of my life. I also met the love of my life which whilst being terrifying, was one of the things which would help me manage my depression.

I thank my lucky stars all the time that I moved home when I did, and that I went on that staff night out. Mums always know best!!


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